Is this what I want?

Many a times when I sit thinking (mostly while smoking or before going to sleep or while taking a dump) , I, inevitably end up asking myself- ‘Is this what I want?’. The answer is always a crisp and clear 'NO'.

Now, I am, by nature, a content person of sorts and have my priorities set quite clearly for me. I would be happy if I don’t do great in my career albeit have a wonderful personal life. I don’t want to become a hi-flying corporate honcho who is respected for his work and is in big demand but has no time to do things he wants. Not that I am a corporate honcho but I definitely don’t see myself headed in the direction i would want to. Well, then what do I want?

Let’s say-
Professionally: a career in sports; before you go all ROTFL let me make it clear- I can’t be a sportsperson (now) :o). so wishfully-realistically, associated with some sport (footy anyday)..say branding of a club, consultant in a sports management firm.
Personally: living in a small and green town where everyone has time for themselves (Goa or sleepy towns of Kerala come to mind), where I can spend hours sitting in my veranda enjoying tea or whiskey, where everybody minds their own businesses- basically life is laid back. Go on a trip to a new place every year.

Is it possible-
Now, my profession shouldn’t be a bone for my family unless of course I get paid big bucks (without being on the wrong side of the law) because, otherwise, I might just be able to meet their needs but not their wants.
My wishful personal life would mean for them to be OK with the sleepy(‘dead’ for them) and ‘green’(village or jungle for them) town. I doubt they will.

So there it is… what may be the best for me may not be the best for my loved ones and I definitely don’t want to be a recluse to the ones that really matter. So, I am destined to be in this rat race forever OR maybe (just MAYBE) I can find a way out and a balance to keep myself and my family really happy. There definitely are people who manage to be professionally and personally satisfied- doing work that makes them happy from within and returning home to lives that have everything to love about. Such, for me, are successful people.

As for the rest…Guess we can’t live our lives just for ourselves; we got to live it for our loved ones too.