Is this what I want?

Many a times when I sit thinking (mostly while smoking or before going to sleep or while taking a dump) , I, inevitably end up asking myself- ‘Is this what I want?’. The answer is always a crisp and clear 'NO'.

Now, I am, by nature, a content person of sorts and have my priorities set quite clearly for me. I would be happy if I don’t do great in my career albeit have a wonderful personal life. I don’t want to become a hi-flying corporate honcho who is respected for his work and is in big demand but has no time to do things he wants. Not that I am a corporate honcho but I definitely don’t see myself headed in the direction i would want to. Well, then what do I want?

Let’s say-
Professionally: a career in sports; before you go all ROTFL let me make it clear- I can’t be a sportsperson (now) :o). so wishfully-realistically, associated with some sport (footy anyday)..say branding of a club, consultant in a sports management firm.
Personally: living in a small and green town where everyone has time for themselves (Goa or sleepy towns of Kerala come to mind), where I can spend hours sitting in my veranda enjoying tea or whiskey, where everybody minds their own businesses- basically life is laid back. Go on a trip to a new place every year.

Is it possible-
Now, my profession shouldn’t be a bone for my family unless of course I get paid big bucks (without being on the wrong side of the law) because, otherwise, I might just be able to meet their needs but not their wants.
My wishful personal life would mean for them to be OK with the sleepy(‘dead’ for them) and ‘green’(village or jungle for them) town. I doubt they will.

So there it is… what may be the best for me may not be the best for my loved ones and I definitely don’t want to be a recluse to the ones that really matter. So, I am destined to be in this rat race forever OR maybe (just MAYBE) I can find a way out and a balance to keep myself and my family really happy. There definitely are people who manage to be professionally and personally satisfied- doing work that makes them happy from within and returning home to lives that have everything to love about. Such, for me, are successful people.

As for the rest…Guess we can’t live our lives just for ourselves; we got to live it for our loved ones too.

Songs that remind me of the good times -CD 1

I don’t know about others but I associate a lot of songs to certain times in my life and whenever I hear those songs, they take me back to the times and a sense of nostalgia takes over me.

To mention some (chronologically):
1. Lambada (Kaoma) - Hmmmm..Jabalpur is it? DSOI and the varous monthly functions there...those early days of teenage.

2. Dilbar dilbar (movie Sirf Tum)- Reminds me of the SSB, Apr ’99 in Bangalore (erstwhile). What a time it was.. bunch of youngsters, fresh out of school getting together to clear one of the toughest interview/selection process that can be. A good 20 odd days spent bonding over politics, Indian Army and girls (of course).

3. MLTR songs (MLTR, Colours, Played on Pepper) – and I feel I am back in my Engineering college, the 1st – 2nd yr period. Sitting in the blocks during the long preparatory leaves or in the (proper) hostel enjoying the monsoons from my window whilst listening to some magical compositions on my roomy’s 800 watt ‘local’ music system.

4. Koi nahi aisa (Dillagi) – Engineering really brought out the happy go lucky in me and some of my buds

5. Jaadu hai nasha hai (movie Jism) – takes me back to T-ILP at Trivandrum, Dec ’03-Mar ‘04. It was, in the truest sense, what is called a ‘Paid Vacation’. Lasted more than 2 months..went around, visited places, made friends, had a blast.

6. Girlfriend, Ale Ale (movie Boys - Tamil) – back to Trivandrum again. Thanks to my Tamil speaking friends they got me addicted to these songs. They (didn’t really teach me any Tamil other than some nice words but) told me the meaning of these songs…and there was always A.R Rahman to behold.

7. Aao Na (movie Kyun Ho Gaya Na) – aah, those night shifts in T way back in 2004. Used to doze off listening to this song on the system and get paid for that (Life!)

8. Somewhere only we know (Keane) – What a time it was on the Isles. Good quality work, a good life and good money. How I miss killing a bottle or two of various scotches over a weekend (along with my friends). Tried so so many different whiskeys and turns out my favourite beer(Stella Artois) and whisk(e)y (Jameson) were introduced to me then only.

9. Show me how to live (Audioslave) – Bangalore (Bengaluru I mean)..summer internship. Aha! Strictly 9 to 6 and good stipend. Was put up with my engineering friends A, G and V and boy what drinkers these guys are. V is only short of an alcoholic- I mean the guy has 3 -4 pegs every freaking day!!! G and A are a bit sober in comparison to V but they are all heavy drinkers…Sangliites! So, how could I not be party to that atmosphere? If my memory serves me right, in the 60-65 days that I spent there, I think I didn’t have my tipple only on 7 or 8 of them.

10. Khuda Jaane (movie Bachna Ae Haseeno) - Well well well, this was S's caller tune for quite some time (and i just don't like her current caller tune) and this reminds me of her. Not to say that i forget about her otherwise but just that it takes me to the sep-oct of 2008 (MBA) when i was getting to know her. You know, those early stages...

Somehow (and gladly) the times I am taken back to (by these songs) are only the good ones. Not like I haven’t had any bad times at all... maybe I just don’t associate them with music.

Who likes gloss anyway?

I never fail to notice, while travelling by air, the obnoxious amounts of make up most air hostesses wear. I mean what’s with that?? Why do they try to look like some Japanese dolls with red/pink cheeks? I travel a lot (not a lot by air though) so I am guessing, like me, most travelers would want it to be simple (except for those who are paying for luxuries), clean and decent. Nobody likes to travel with too loud people, music, decor OR MAKE UP!! All the more not, when it is worn by those who are supposed to be your hosts for the journey. It’s just ghostly, cheap, irritating…glossy! Most of them look like people with no fashion sense (let alone fashion..not even basic sense).

I mean most of them are smart things, they really don’t have to put those kilos of make up on them to look ‘better’, you ask me.. it only makes them look funny. I don’ think they like to do it themselves, I mean there can’t be that many ill-fashioned air hostesses flying people around. Although, there can be that many airlines that want their hostesses to look good..err white (white and pink). First, why such fixation with the white skin. Second, if you wanna do it then can you not be a bit subtle and normal to look at. The way these hostesses make up, it seems they dip their faces in a plate full of foundation, then in another plate full of some other white thingy and then paint sunsets on their cheek bones. Yukk!!!

Or...maybe, just maybe..these air hostesses are actually part of a smuggling syndicate and smuggle cosmetics across borders by applying it on them. later scraping it off their faces and stuffing into those bottles/packs. who knows!

So, a sniper shot down a footballer

Big Deal??? I mean it's now a common practice whereby a sniper hidden somewhere in the crowds or on the roof of the stadium or the VIP boxes (if you will) shoots down an attacking player making a marauding run inside the penalty area of the opposition. Sometimes the snipers even shoot down players not making any dangerous runs. These snipers are present all over the world, more so in Europe and do shoot down players (mostly attackers) from time to time in matches at various grounds. They are believed to be a real terror in Italy, so much that they even shoot down Italian players practicing at their football practice sessions. The one shot down by a mystery sniper this time was Edu-9 and it hurts me because he is a gunner and UEFA have, this time around, taken it upon them to do something about it (by charging him of diving). Why? Rather… why now?

Edu-9 dived and won a penalty against Celtic... to go down like that is just cheating! But maybe the authorities are to be blamed for letting these things happen week-in week-out, what are other honest (till then) players to make of this? Maybe Edu-9 is then a victim of authorities' indifference towards this type of cheating which has infested this game so long.

OK, now i am not condoning diving in any form, sort or shape. All i am on about is the lack of consistency shown by the Football authorities, in this case Monsieur Platini's UEFA. This was also not to set a precedent (in which case the claim can be that henceforth all such incidents will be dealt with severity) as the same had already been set in 2007 when the Scottish FA reported a dive from a Lithuanian striker and UEFA imposed a 2 match retrospective ban on the player. Good move if you ask me but then the same should have continued thereon. I mean they were using video evidence they couldn't have gone wrong. The ronlados, drogbas, gerrards, rooneys, RB-7 of the world have all time and time practiced (their art of) diving and even won penalties (crucial ones that have changed seasons and tournaments for their clubs, countries) long after that incident involving Lithuanian player. So where was UEFA in the last two years, what's with this waking up all of a sudden? I think i know, UEFA is still the good-for-nothing body that it is, it is just that this time around the media blew the incident way (and i mean WAY) out of proportion. Why? Simple...it was a foreigner and one from Arsenal!! When Owen does this, he's 'clever' and won a penalty. When Rooney does that, he's ‘passionate’ and will do anything to win. When Ronaldo does (did..since now he is in Real Madrid and not Man utd- the darling club of the English media and the refs) it they would just laugh it off. The only player who has got stick, any close to what Edu-9 got for his act, has been Drogba. So, lest UEFA becomes consistent with their treatment (or even cognizance) of such incidents it (action against Edu-9) will remain a joke. plonkers!!

Talking about the punishment itself, it is a yellow card if the ref spots the dive. It is a 2 match ban if the ref doesn't spot the dive (or maybe the fact whether the resulting penalty is scored also plays in, or even the result of the match).

My beloved Gunners went to Old Trafford this weekend and we saw within a gap of a few mins two genuine (one stonewall) penalty claims turned down by the cowardly referee (playing his whistle to the home crowd or simply to man utd)- RVP-11 was clipped inside the box (obviously there were no replays...we all know about the bias of English media) and then Fletcher clattered into AA-23 (a two footed challenge inside the box getting nothing but the player) and referee waved 'play on'. Some refs would give a red card+penalty for that challenge and all would give a penalty. And as if this was not enough, the Professor kicked a waterbottle (did not talk or complain to anyone) out of disappointment when in the injury time min RVP-11's goal was disallowed for a WG-10 offside and the ref to everyone's amusement sent the Professor to the stands. Shame! a total shame. Although (and rightly), Keith Hackett, the chief of the referees' association (or some sh!t like that) is due to apologise to the Professor for his sending off. Wenger later described the events (in terms of refereeing) as "It was Old Trafford-ish. We know how things work,". And he is right, history (even recent) of English football will tell you what he means. And one arsenal supporter (alwaysafc) rightly welcomes the new term from Wenger's dictionary, he says on 606
"TRAFFORDISH! Thanks Arsene.. We all know what it is... but we needed a word to describe it."
Coming back to the referee, It could be just two big mistakes by the referee and nothing more but then why doesn’t the FA do something about it (poor performance from refs)... i mean any paid professional is bound to be reviewed for their performance (or lack of it). I agree it is a thankless job but then it is also a powerful job and it is a shame when the talking point of a match is poor officiating; spoils the football. Some refs try to be the talking point after the game by misusing their power and there are others who try to keep a low profile by being consistent at both the ends of the pitch and not be the centre of attraction- the latter for me are examples of good referees. So while the authorities want to check players' retrospectively using video evidence and punish those who cheat why can't the same technology be used to evaluate referees' performance and appraise them (maybe relegate the regularly faulting refs to lower league, pay cut... just thoughts) because we all know how much impact bad refereeing can have on teams and their campaigns. After all, not long ago an English referee dished out 3 (THREE) yellow cards to the same player in the world cup. Ring any bells?

the story so far

yeah, i started all pumped up 'warning' you to be careful about what you may end up reading out here...basically trying to create an atmosphere. and for what, a bloody lull...i kept procrastinating and procrastinating (that's almost three years !!!). now that i have finally put fingers to the keyboard i think the best way to start would be to see where i have come from that day to today.
let me remember...December 2006...i was working in Mumbai. having just appeared for CAT after i had realised that my coming back from Leeds to 'prepare' for CAT was futile. i should have stayed there longer (and earned a few more quids) and just appeared for CAT without any 'preparation'. come to think of it, i actually might have scored more :P

Professionally... i was working in an IT company, wanted to do an MBA at any cost to change my sector (or so i told to my bosses who tried to convince me to stay on in the organisation). and guess what, i am back in IT. Once in IT always in IT or was it just the simple fact that the placement season for us was in the middle of the economic turmoil. Damn the western economies, the ripples of what they caused were felt in our college, in the quality of companies that visited my mediocre college. I don't know whether it was this or the (relative) comfort of work in this sector...that i got attracted (once again, the first time was while opting for my engineering branch) to IT. So, basically I have an MBA (err...PGDM actually) degree (err...diploma actually), working in IT industry as a manager. Let's see what's in store for me and how much i like the ride.

Personally... I have grown a lot (not in stature)... around my waist. Have thinned around my head. I have mellowed down a lot from what i used to be..confronting, short tempered. Not to mean that i am not any of those now but it's gone down. Probably, this is called ageing. I have moved from Mumbai to Chennai, parents have moved from Mumbai to Lucknow and so technically i am not a Mumbaikar anymore. This part hurts more than any other, even more than the waist which is fighting a constant battle with my trouser. Oh and yes, i have met the one i would like to spend my life with and it's a wonderful feeling even though her parents have their concerns regarding my age, my hair line and my waist line (what's left). I would be lying if i said i didn't miss being a member of the Horny Bachelors' Club :-). V, the president of the club, would smirk on reading this. He has just one other member (A) to preside over; over the years 2 other significant members (V and K) have had to surrender their memberships for reasons similar to mine.

Footballistically... after having won FA cup in 2005, Arsenal reached the finals of the champions league in May 2006 and failed to deliver a trophy that has long eluded us gunners. I would not call it a successful season by any means as we barely qualified for European action in 2006-07, the season still was one which gave hope. We moved into our new home 'The Emirates' and as expected we took time to settle down and as we were we got a jolt with the news of the departure of TH-4 Va Va Voom in the summer of 2007. Somebody had to step up in 2007-08 to fill the void, and guess what, the WHOLE TEAM DID... and it gave us a memorable 3/4th of a season at the top of the league till the horrific incident at Birmingham City where Eduardo almost lost his foot. We lost the title on the fateful day- first the horrific leg break and then the breaking down of the WG-10 at the end of the match at the other end of the field (whilst the penalty was being converted). 2008-09 was a very average season, notwithstanding the champions league exit which was nothing short of a thrashing then was the FA cup exit at the hands of our London rivals and to this day i can not fathom why the PRofessor decided not to play our best player then- the little Russian, AA-23. So even though the season ended with us in the top 4 it was still very much of an underachieving season (or a team building season if you would). So, it has been 4 long years, after summer of 2005, without any silverware to show for in the trophy cabinet. Let's hope by the summer of 2010 we do have to loosen the hinges of that cabinet to allow some movement. As for 2009-10, which i will be watching on my Sun DTH, the season is just 2 match old (plus another 2 for us to qualify for champions league) and it's premature to comment on our chances just yet. Whatever the chances, yours truely will still back his beloved Gunners till the end. Go gunners!